Consequences: The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly: 4th in Series

LET CHILDREN EXPERIENCE THE EFFECTS OF THEIR ACTIONS

Every action causes a reaction. Use praise and positive reinforcement when good behavior occurs and this will shape desired behavior. Take away privileges when inappropriate or disruptive behavior occurs and fewer unwanted episodes will occur. Withdrawing privileges is a behavior shaper where you will always have plenty of options. Losing privileges will work if it is part of a pre-agreed behavior management strategy. In other words, make the rules and state the consequences before episodes occur.

If we shelter children from consequences and distort true cause and effect, children rarely become accountable. Instead, they become confused and go through life blaming someone else for their misfortune and “bad luck.” Enforced consequences motivate children to develop self-control. Learning self control, and how to interact respectfully with others, supports children’s self esteem and benefits society in general.

CONSEQUENCES

Consequences do not need to be dehumanizing, demeaning, humiliating, or full of nagging and scolding. Remain calm and remember you are the role model and example of good behavior. Three questions to ask when delivering a consequence are:

• Is it justified?
• Is it respectful?
• Is it reasonable?

Kindergarten teachers may have more than twenty 5 and 6 year olds in the room. They have a responsibility to teach. A disruptive child interrupts the learning of well-behaved children. It may be necessary to put a misbehaving child away from other children. Usually, after a short time, the child will let you know that he/she wants to rejoin the group. A bean bag or large pillow can work wonders. Some wise teachers have a large pillow in a quiet corner where a child knows they can take out their frustrations—or perhaps take a much needed nap.

Sometimes misbehavior occurs during special areas when a student is with another teacher. If recess time is to be taken away, time out should ideally be one minute for each year of the child’s age. Be sure the child understands why he/she is in time out since the occurrence of the inappropriate behavior was earlier in the day. I don’t think it is a good idea to take away the entire recess time because children need physical exercise to release stress and frustration. Always send a note home explaining the behavior and the consequence. If extreme misbehavior has occurred, a trip to the office may be warranted. Be sure and document in case the child might qualify for school counseling or for special education testing. Send notes home requiring a signature and place them in the child’s folder.

Teachers: Be prepared. When children arrive at school, they should know they will find affectionate care, reasonable order, security, and an interesting day—qualities that help children be good and develop self-control. Children need time to be creative, express themselves in play, and learn social skills. They need physical exertion to release stress and to relax.

Through their play and storytelling, children make sense of the world and
learn the most important rules of living in a democratic society — 
how to listen to one another and treat one another with
fairness and kindness.  ~Vivian Paley

Exercising releases stress and builds strong bodies and minds.

Parents: It is important to support a teacher in reasonable discipline. Consistency; established routines and rules; and stability at home will reinforce good behavior and increase a child’s sense of security and self-esteem. Be a good role model and show a child how to act. They will imitate you because they live with you and they love you. Parenting is a huge responsibility but it becomes easier the more you establish love, trust, and stability. Enjoy your children. They look up to you.

While other institutions, such as church and school, can assist parents to 

“train up a child in the way he should go”  - ultimately this
responsibility rests with parents.  ~  L. Tom Perry

Series of Discipline Posts

1. Discipline: Combat Duty or Common Sense Tactics?

2. Prevent Inappropriate Behavior

3. Poor Behavior: What to Do

5. Tips for Enforcing Consequences

6. Caught Being Good

 

For more tips, see my books Kindergarten: Tattle-Tales, Tools, Tactics, Triumphs and Tasty Treats for Teachers and Parents and The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble and Motivated to Learn both have been number 1 bestsellers on Amazon. Also available on Barnes & Noble and Kobo.

What kind of discipline techniques have worked for you?

 

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