Tuesday, August 28, 2012

STOP Bullying: It STARTS at Home

Stop Bullying: Types, Warning Signs, Ways Parents Can Help

Give your child the tools to stop bullying and not become a victim. Bullying Stops with Me cites: "Every 7 seconds, a child is bullied on a playground....Bullying is intentional cruelty, harassment, and emotional, physical and sometimes sexual abuse. This behavior can set the tone for a lifetime of intentional cruelty or worse. And the consequences to the victim can seriously affect them for the rest of the their life." Bullying can occur at school, on the bus, in your neighborhood, in daycare or in sports. Later it can extend into cyberbulling. Let's stop it while children are young.

  •  VERBAL:
    • Teasing
    • Name-calling
    • Inappropriate sexual comments
    • Taunting
    • Threatening to cause harm
    • Leaving someone out on purpose
    • Telling other children not to be friends with someone
    • Spreading rumors about someone
    • Embarrassing someone in public
    • Hitting/kicking/pinching
    • Spitting
    • Tripping/pushing
    • Taking or breaking someone’s things
    • Making mean or rude hand gestures
  • Has lost interest in school work or suddenly begins to do poorly in school
  • Appears sad, moody, teary, or depressed when he or she comes home
  • Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or other physical ailments
  • Has trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreams
  • Experiences a loss of appetite
  • Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem
  • Comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books, or other belongings
  • Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
  • Has few, if any friends, with whom he or she wants to spends time
  • Seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, riding the school bus, or taking part in organized activities with peers

  • Provide a Safe and Loving Home 
  • Communicate: Everyday talk and listen to your child. Ask questions. Explain what bullying is and how no one should be bullied.
  • Do Not Blame Your Child for being bullied.
  • Boost Self-Esteem
  • Watch for Changes in Behavior
  • Help Your Child Make Friends in the neighborhood, at church, or through sports
  • Help Your Child Develop Social Skills
  • Seek the Help of a Counselor - Schools have counselors and communities have counseling services based on income
  • Be Persistent that the School Do Its Part to stop the bullying. Do not storm into the principal's office but talk with your child's teacher first. Visit your school during recess and lunch time. Offer to volunteer in the classroom. Ask for the school counselor to visit the classroom. Do not allow your child to be counseled at the same time as the bullier. The school should contact the bully's parents, not you. Seek the help of the Principal or even Superintendent if the bullying persists.
  • Be a Good Example: Control your own temper and speak respectfully of others regardless of their differences.
  • Teach Your Child What NOT to Do such as pushing, teasing or excluding others. 
  • Coach Your Child on What to Do if someone is being mean to them or to another: 
  1. Tell the bully to stop.
  2. Walk away.
  3. Get an adult.
    Would you like a glimpse into Kindergarten. See my book: Kindergarten: Tattle-Tales, Tools, Tactics, Triumphs and Tasty Treats for Teachers and Parents. Do you need inexpensive ideas, activities, and games to teach your child through play - including the  supporting child development theories? We can help boost your child's self-esteem and learning with The Happy Mommy Handbook: The Ultimate How-to Guide on Keeping Your Toddlers and Preschoolers Busy, Out of Trouble and Motivated to Learn. Both are bestsellers and the ebooks are only $3.99.


      1. some amazing points in this. what a great resources for parents and teachers alike. i've pinned it to my bullying board.

      2. Your school Need a fundraiser? check out scholarpon.com

      3. Well, this one definately caught my eye! I can't stand bullying... shame that this happens and I agree it starts and can be stopped at home! Gets worse as they get older, more cruel and unusual punishment from these kids... sorry, just gets my blood boiling! Thanks for the ideas and information!

        1. It seems to be more common which is a great concern. I know teachers are stretched and hope that parents, school counselors, and teachers can work together to help children. Thank you for commenting Kimberly.

      4. Love this post - especially because we deal with this issue on a daily basis. My son Aiden, 4, was born with a rare craniofacial condition that includes some noticeable physical differences. I just wrote a new post today that addresses this topic as part of September being Craniofacial Acceptance Month. Thanks for the additional resources! Taryn @ More Skees Please

      5. Tarn - I visited your lovely blog and hope others will as well. Thank you for commenting.

      6. Such an informative post. This will really help parents as well as the teachers to avoid bullying in school. Keep posting and thanks for sharing.

        1. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting Colin.

      7. Thanks for this post! Of course home should be our first rescue when it comes to bullying. We salute the number of understanding parents who don't tolerate the bullying; instead teach their kids to become example for the bullies to be good enough to accept the imperfections of others.

      8. I have been told by my Kindergarten (4 yr old) son that his exam papers were torn in front of him by his English teacher, because he was apparently talking during a quiz, which he completely denied of doing... I'm going to talk to his teacher together with his class adviser tomorrow to make things right.. thank you for the additional tips on how should i handle the situation. More power!

        1. Good for you - being your child's advocate is so important. Four-year-olds are too young to be taking English quizzes! I can understand prompts to teach reading and writing - but a test?! They shouldn't be stressed out about exams at this young age.


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